3.02.12. commitment,

the beginning of a new day

So I’ve had this blog for about 4 months and I’m lucky if I’m able to post something once a month…but that’s me. I start things, but don’t finish them. I have great visions but no drive. Writing was my outlet in high school, whether it was a research paper or a few short sentences I could communicate what I was thinking so well through written words; I seem to have lost that ability. As for my self-motivation i’ve never been very good. 

I recently watched the movie Juile and Juila— probably not one I’d recommend for it’s cinematography but still ok none the less— and I found myself relating the Julie; the main character struggling with deciding what she wants to do with her life while working at a crappy job. She’s never finished anything, or so her mother keeps reminding her as she describes her new idea- to write a blog. Now during this 2002 setting blogs weren’t quite as popular and internet was not the main source of communication so it was a much bigger deal not to mention the difficulty of Julie’s idea.  Julie’s main goal was to cook each one of Julia Child’s recipes in one year, 524 recipes, 365 days to do it in. While she cooked she would write about her experience and post it to her blog. She succeeded. She completed the 524 recipes and became famous in the process.

I guess that brings us to this blog. No I’m not starting this to get famous, I honestly don’t even expect many (if any) people to follow me but it’s a challenge for myself.  Like I said before I have little self-motivation, I have a great heart I promise and I do mean well I just don’t always (or ever) follow through with the things I say I’m going to. My New Years resolutions usually last about a month and that’s on a good year, it’s just not something I’m very good at. I could easily blame my ADHD but instead I’m going to challenge it. 

My New Years resolution this past January was to give up dating for the year. That’s said in it’s simplest form. I’m giving up boys in general, no I’m not going to become a lesbian— don’t worry mom!— but I’m refocusing. Refocusing on my King and my Savior and my God. So far, being 3 months into the decision- I’ve failed. But that’s why I’m here. I’m holding myself accountable through this blog. Whether I have 0 or 1000 followers I don’t care, this will be a blog for me to be honest about my commitment. My struggles, my strongpoints, and the things God is showing me through it.

So my year, begins today March 2, 2012. It’s not going to be easy, I get that. There are going to be days where I don’t feel like typing or taking time out of my day to talk about my struggles but I’m making the commitment. I’m committing to this blog, to this year, and to my God. I’m not doing this for you, for my parents, or anyone else but myself. Maybe something I learn from this year will help you out in the future, I know it will for me. 

This is my life.